NEW PLANTS HAVE LANDED. Prices as Low as a Worm’s Willy.
Right, tiny phone people. The new stock has landed, the plants are LIVE on the website, and your carefully negotiated agreement with yourself about “no more plants” is about to face a proper test.
We’ve got creamy Monsteras, velvet-leaved Alocasias, colourful Philodendrons and little air plants that look like they’ve escaped from another planet. There are 33 new additions to get stuck into, with air plants starting at £6.99.
Prices as low as a worm’s willy, basically. An entirely unscientific unit of measurement, but you get the idea.
These are small batches, and the online quantities are limited. Have a proper browse, find the one that makes you do the stupid little happy face, and give it a home.
New houseplants with a dangerous amount of personality
My favourite thing about a fresh delivery is that moment when a plant stops being a name on a list and becomes something you cannot stop staring at. You turn it round. You look at another leaf. You start mentally rearranging your entire house.
This lot have plenty of that energy. Here are a few of the troublemakers.
Monstera ‘Crème Brûlée’ — £69.99
Oh, this one. Creamy marbling, green islands and those little flecks that make you lean in for another look. It’s the plant equivalent of ordering dessert when you were absolutely, definitely finished.
The best bit is watching the pattern change as new leaves arrive. You’re adopting something that keeps giving you a reason to wander over and inspect it. If a variegated Monstera has been sitting on your wish list, this is a very lovely reason to revisit it.
Alocasia ‘Frydek Variegata’ — £39.99
Deep green, velvety-looking leaves, bright veins and pale splashes that give every leaf its own personality. Frydek has the sort of presence that makes everything around it feel like the supporting cast.
This is one for the person who enjoys the ritual: checking a new leaf, finding its best light, getting far too excited about a small green point emerging. You know who you are. I am also that person.
Monstera ‘Burle Marx Flame’ — £16.99
For everyone who loves the idea of growing a little plant into something spectacular: hello. The attraction here is the journey towards that unmistakable mature foliage, with its narrow, deeply divided shape.
These are young plants, so you get to be there for the transformation. Good growing conditions, support and patience are part of the fun. At £16.99, it’s a very tempting little project for your future jungle.
Philodendron ‘Ring of Fire’ — £12.99
If your plant shelf is asking for a bit of colour and attitude, point it this way. Jagged leaf edges and a shifting mix of greens, creams and warm tones give Ring of Fire a wonderfully unruly look.
It’s the sort of plant you buy for one particularly lovely leaf, then immediately start waiting for the next. A small pot of “go on then” for £12.99.
Tillandsia air plants — from £6.99
Little leafy weirdos. Huge amount of charm. The air plant mixes bring a different shape and texture to a collection, especially if you’ve already filled every conventional plant-pot space in the house.
Starting at £6.99, they’re a lovely way to adopt something a bit unusual without making a grand financial announcement to the household.
Prefer your plant shopping with a bit more chaos?
Then you need to join us this Thursday, 17 September, at 7pm UK time for one of our infamous Instagram Live plant sales.
Find us at @thebeardedplantaholic on Instagram.
If you like seeing what you’re getting, this is your evening. Come and have a proper look at the plants on camera, ask questions, admire a leaf from an unnecessarily large number of angles, and join a bunch of people who completely understand why you’re excited about it.
Expect plant chat, questionable self-control and the usual level of chaos. Bring a drink. Bring your wish list. Bring the friend who still thinks owning five houseplants is “quite a lot”. We’ll have a lovely time confusing them.
Set yourself a reminder now: Thursday. 7pm. Instagram. I’ll see you there.
Found your plant already? The shop is open
You can shop the new houseplants online right now. Head to Available Now to see what’s currently in stock, from little leafy treats to the collector plants you’ve been making eyes at.
Quantities in this drop are limited, so I can’t promise your favourite will still be waiting by Thursday. If you’ve found your one, you don’t have to wait for the live sale to adopt it.
One love, tiny phone people.
Jonny x
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