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The BIGGEST Plant Sale I’ve Ever Done – 30% Off Everything Plant Online!

Bearded man in a beanie and vest shouting with excitement in front of lush houseplants, fists clenched, with bold red “30% OFF SALE” text – promoting a rare plant sale.

Yes, you read that right. 30% OFF Plant Sale!

I’ve never done this before, and I might never do it again (unless I hit my head or start drinking fish tank water). But after the chaos, joy, and jungle madness of Plantstock, I need to make a little space — and you deserve a bit of that post-Plantstock magic too in the form of an unheard of plant sale!


So, to spread the love and free up room for even more rare, rooty wonders, I’m slapping 30% off every single plant left in my online shop until Sunday night.


This is your golden moment to grab something rare, chunky, and drop-dead gorgeous for the price of a worm’s willy.



Here’s what you can get your planty paws on in this plant sale:



  • Monstera Aurea cuttings – These usually go for a small fortune, but now? You can snag one for 30-something quid. That’s outrageous. That’s robbery. That’s your lucky day.

  • Monstera Burle Marx Flame – Usually a top-shelf, bougie beauty. This week? £20 and some pennies. That’s your dinner money, not your rent.

  • Scindapsus Silver Hero – The silver-leafed stunner. Shimmery, dreamy, and now actually affordable.

  • Philodendron Florida Beauty – You’ve seen it. You’ve drooled over it. It’s on sale. Don’t be silly.

  • Anthurium Warocqueanum (Queen Anthurium) – She’s regal, moody, and looks like she should come with a crown. Grab her before someone else bows first.

  • Alocasia Frydek Variegata, Micans Halo, Monstera Thai Constellation, Scindapsus Platinum Indo, Philodendron Paraiso Verde, and loads more — all 30% off.

    Smiling bearded man in a white shirt and leopard-print headband holding a variegated Monstera cutting, surrounded by tropical plants like Anthurium, Philodendron, and Scindapsus.


This is a proper

clean-up or cry later

sale.



I’m not holding anything back. This is my biggest discount ever, and it’s all to make space for even more rare weirdosthat are due to land soon.


Ends Sunday at midnight. After that, the jungle doors close and prices go back to normal (and your dreams go back to the wishlist).


Bearded man in a beanie and vest shouting with excitement in front of lush houseplants, fists clenched, with bold red “30% OFF SALE” text – promoting a rare plant sale.

Why buy from me?



Because I actually care. Every plant is rooted, healthy, and grown with love. No drop-shipping, no soggy imports, no shady dealers — just proper plants from a proper nutter with a jungle in his kitchen.



So go on.

Treat yourself.

Treat your windowsill.

Treat your serotonin.


Because 30% off is wild, and you deserve a little wild in your life.



Shop the Sale Now – before someone else grabs your dream plant.

Man lying on a wooden bench in a jungle-like setting, feeding himself grapes, surrounded by lush foliage and a sign that reads: “Why buy from me? Because this is how your plants are treated.”

 
 
 

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