Which Plant Parent Are You? Take a Sneak Peek at the Hilarious Personality Tests in My Debut Book!

If you’ve ever looked at your plant collection and thought,

“Why do half of you thrive and the rest act like you’ve filed a noise complaint against me?”

…it might not be the plants.

It might be you.

And that’s exactly why I built multiple personality tests into my book — not just one.

Think of it as Myers-Briggs for jungle people, but with more moss, more madness, and far better hair.

In 'You're Overwatering It ' you’ll find a whole series of quizzes designed to help you discover who you are, how you behave, and which plants will love you back instead of plotting their escape.

They’re funny, unfiltered, weirdly accurate, and absolutely essential if you’re serious about levelling up.

Pre-Order My Book

Why Personality Tests for Plant Parents?

Because plant care is personal.

You don’t water the way I do.

You don’t mix soil the way Mo does.

And you definitely don’t light a room the way that one person online does who claims every plant “thrives in low light” (they don’t).

Your behaviour matters.

Your personality shows up in your plant care.

And once you understand your tendencies… everything gets easier.

That’s why the book has multiple quizzes, each helping you understand a different layer of who you are.

Not in a clinical way — in a funny, worryingly accurate, slightly alarming way.

A Few of the Tests You’ll Meet in the Book

Without giving away all the goods (because you know… pre-orders), here’s a tiny glimpse of a few of the numerous tests waiting for you:

1. The Plant Parent Personality Test

The big one — your “plant MBTI”.

A few variants include:

• The Overlover (you’ve overwatered things that aren’t even plants)

• The Chaos Goblin (there are seven unlabelled propagations in a mug somewhere)

• The Green Witch (you intuit everything and somehow it works)

• The Collector Goblin (you swore you’d stop buying rare plants… last week)

2. The Light Personality Test

Because you say your room is bright.

But is it?

A few possible outcomes:

• The Sun Chaser

• The Cave Dweller

• The Fake-Light Fanatic

• The “This Window Will Do” Improviser

3. The Soil Personality Test

A deep dive into what your hands and heart naturally gravitate to.

You might be:

• The Living Soil Purist

• The Kitchen Sink Mixer

• The Compost Cowboy

• The “Perlite Is a Lifestyle” Minimalist

4. The Watering Personality Test

This one exposes people.

Types include:

• The Once-a-Month Monk

• The Every-Time Feeder (hi, it’s me)

• The Moisture-Meter Prophet

• The Wednesday Waterer (a dangerous species)

5. The Propagation Personality Test

Perfect for my fellow chode enthusiasts.

Variants include:

• The Air-Stone Scientist

• The Box Builder

• The Root Roulette Gambler

• The Leaf Whisperer

And trust me… those are just a few.

There are entire chapters filled with mini tests, skill tests, “level up” checks, and hilarious plant behaviour assessments that drag you lovingly through self-awareness.

Why These Tests Matter

Because plants don’t come with a one-size-fits-all manual — and neither do plant parents.

Your personality determines:

• What plants you should own

• How you naturally behave under stress

• How you respond to plant drama

• What plants will annoy you

• And what plants will make you feel like a glorious jungle deity

These quizzes help you build an indoor jungle that fits you — not your neighbour, not Instagram, not that plantfluencer who lives in Bali.

You.

Join the Conversation

This week on Instagram, I’ll be running polls based directly on these tests so you can guess which type you are…

And then compare your guess to the official quiz in the book.

Prepare to be exposed.

Lovingly.

Follow along at @TheBeardedPlantaholic and tag your friends so they can discover what kind of chaos plant parent they are.

Pre-Order the Book Now

If you want to understand your plants — and yourself — like never before, this book is your new bible.

It’s funny, it’s honest, it’s packed with science but written in English, and it’s designed to take you from plant dabbler to full-blown jungle boss.

👉 Pre-order your copy now and be part of the first wave of readers levelling up their plant game.

This book will change the way you grow — in every sense.