“Exotic Houseplants You’ll Never Find at B&Q (But You Will Find Here)”
- Jonny Balchandani
- Jul 20
- 2 min read
Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re looking for another limp spider plant, this isn’t the place. But if you’re after the botanical equivalent of a unicorn doing yoga on a rainbow — welcome home, jungle warrior.
This isn’t some mass-produced, factory-grown exotic houseplant shop. This is a green-speckled treasure chest stuffed with variegated madness, velvet leaves, and botanical freaks of nature. Most garden centres wouldn’t know a Philodendron spiritus-sanctiif it slapped them in the face with a six-foot runner. But I’ve got twelve. And they’re glorious.
Some recent jaw-droppers now in stock:
Monstera deliciosa ‘Aurea Variegata’ – Golden splashes on fenestrated perfection. Looks like it’s been kissed by the sun and slapped by a paintbrush.
Philodendron ‘Florida Beauty’ – Variegation so crisp you’ll think it’s been edited. It hasn’t. It’s just ridiculous in real life.
Anthurium warocqueanum – The queen. Velvet. Veins. Vibes. Enough said.
Syngonium ‘Mottled’ – Speckled like a frog having a breakdown. Cute, chaotic, collectible.
Alocasia ‘Mint Dragon Scale’ – Mythical. Minty. Makes your nan’s plants look like boiled cabbage.
And that’s just a sample. We’ve got everything from Dischidia snaily (yep, real name) to Rhaphidophora honkongensis ‘Variegata’. Stuff you’ll never find in your average plant aisle.
Why collectors love shopping here:
Rare stuff that isn’t just hype – These exotic plants actually grow. They’re not just for the ‘gram (though yes, they are stupidly photogenic).
Packed by plant people – Every plant gets the TLC it deserves, from root to leaf tip.
No middleman nonsense – Just you, me, and the weird green things we love.
Don’t Sleep on It
Most of the plants I get are in tiny batches. Like, blink-and-you-miss-it levels of rare. So if something grabs you by the chlorophyll, grab it back. It might be gone tomorrow.
Check What Exotic Houseplants Are In Stock Now
(Warning: may cause compulsive plant buying. Side effects include happiness, envy from friends, and needing more shelves.)
OR
Book a slot and come choose your plants live with me in The Plantaholic Haven!
One Love Tiny Phone People!
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