The Bearded Plantaholic Christmas Box: Limited Edition Magic for the Jungle Obsessed
- Jonny Balchandani
- 3d
- 4 min read
There are Christmas gifts… and then there’s this.
Forget bath sets, novelty socks, and candles that claim to smell like “festive cinnamon dreams.” This is the Christmas gift for people who measure time in leaf unfurlings, who talk to their plants more than their neighbours, and who think “just one more” is a perfectly reasonable approach to plant collecting.
This year, I’ve created something truly special — The Bearded Plantaholic Christmas Box. Only 30 exist, each one a hand-packed explosion of jungle joy, rooted beauty, and personal touches straight from my greenhouse to your doorstep.
A Box Unlike Anything Else
Each Christmas Box is an experience — part jungle starter kit, part collector’s treasure chest, part slightly unhinged love letter to plant life. It’s everything I’d want to open on Christmas morning: real, meaningful, and completely unique.
Inside, you’ll find a mix of the rare, the rooted, and the ridiculous, all curated by me — no outsourcing, no generic filler, no copy-paste nonsense. Just plants, design, and energy that scream The Bearded Plantaholic.
The Star of the Show: The Recycled Ghost Net Pot
If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know how much I love these. Each one is made from recycled fishing nets collected from UK beaches, transformed by my friends at Ecotribo into something genuinely beautiful — and meaningful.
Only 100 of these pots were ever made. That’s it. No restock, no rerun. They’re already collector’s items, and just 30 lucky people will get one in their Christmas Box.
They carry my branding, they carry a story, and they carry a message: that even waste can become something incredible. They’ve sold out fast before, and this will be your final chance to own one.
Two Incredible Plants From My Personal Jungle
You’ll also receive two handpicked plants, chosen directly from my own jungle. I’ve spent years nurturing these beauties — strong, healthy, bursting with character. No lifeless, mass-produced clones here.
Each plant will be carefully selected for its personality, texture, and story. Expect the kind of plants that make people stop mid-scroll and whisper, “I need that.”
Every one will come perfectly rooted, ready to take pride of place in your home — whether you’re a seasoned collector or a curious newcomer who’s just realised the living room feels naked without leaves.
The Secret Christmas Goodie Box
Now for the part I’m most excited about — the curated goodie box.
I’ve handpicked every single item myself, and no two boxes will be exactly the same (image above from novbember Plant Prescription box - Christmas box goodies not visible) . Expect a mix of practical, personal, and delightfully random treasures — things that’ll make you laugh, nod, and say, “Of course he included that.”
You might find things that make you a better plant parent, things that smell like Christmas morning, or things that make you wonder whether I’ve officially lost the plot (I have, but that’s part of the charm).
It’s festive, funny, and full of surprises.
Only 30 Boxes Exist
This isn’t just about what’s inside — it’s about being part of something that only a handful of people will ever own.
Only 30 boxes will ever be made. That’s it. No extras, no restock, no “maybe next year.”
When you open yours, you’ll know that what’s inside is truly unique — from the plants to the pot to the surprises. Each box is a tiny slice of my world, wrapped up and shipped out with love (and maybe a bit of soil under the tape).
Why This Box Matters
I’ve been building this brand and this community for years, one propagation, one reel, one shared laugh at a time. This Christmas Box is a celebration of that journey — and of everyone who’s been part of it.
It’s about growth. Connection. And creating something that means more than just another thing to unwrap.
Every detail is personal. Every plant has a story. Every pot has a legacy.
Possible Side Effects of Buying This Box
Involuntary bragging on social media.
Compulsive plant rearranging.
A sudden need to tell guests, “Oh, that pot? It’s one of only 100 ever made.”
Talking to your plants in festive tones.
Developing an unhealthy obsession with humidity levels.
Becoming the person who gives life advice using plant metaphors.
A feeling of deep smugness every time you water your new arrivals.
How to Get Yours
The Bearded Plantaholic Christmas Box – Limited to 30 Only
Includes:
1 x Recycled Ghost Net Pot (limited edition, numbered)
2 x Handpicked plants from my personal collection
1 x Curated Christmas Goodie Box of surprises
Available now while stocks last.
When they’re gone, that’s it.
Because this Christmas, you don’t just deserve a gift — you deserve something alive, sustainable, and completely unforgettable.
Order yours now and join the few who’ll own a piece of this jungle’s story.
One Love Tiny Phone People,
Jonny xx
PS: Boxes will only be sent out from November 28th 2025
Good good good. Now I’m just hoping there’s a box left by the time I get paid! Much love! 💚💚💚