Good Fucking Morning Coffee: My Blend with Carburetta

You know how much I love my coffee. So, yes, the bloke surrounded by plants has made a coffee blend. Coffee is a bloody plant too. This was probably only a matter of time.

But getting to make something I love, with someone I love, and share it with you lot? That’s the bit I’m properly excited about. Meet my Good Fucking Morning Blend, made with my brother from another mother over at Carburetta Coffee.

Two mates. One fucking great idea.

We’ve been trialling, tasting and testing our way to this blend. Because putting my name on a tin means I need to be excited about the coffee inside it. I wanted a brew I’d be happy to make for you if you turned up at mine. The tin can shout all it likes; what ends up in your mug still has to do the work.

That’s why teaming up with Carburetta matters to me. We’ve taken something that’s already part of my mornings and made it our own. And now I get to send a little bit of that out to yours. There’s something bloody lovely about that.

Right. What does it taste like?

Marmalade and chocolate notes, with a full body and low acidity. That’s the blend we came up with: smooth, bright and unapologetic. The marmalade and chocolate describe the tasting notes, so you know what to look forward to in the cup.

Inside each tin you’ll find 250g of 100% Arabica whole bean coffee, with origins in Colombia and Brazil. Whole beans only, so you’ll need to grind them before brewing. And yes, the coffee itself is 100% plant based. You lot asked for plants. I may have interpreted that quite broadly.

The jungle came along for the ride.

Look at the bloody tin. Big tropical leaves, loud colours, a bearded bloke holding a coffee. I was hardly going to put this in something beige and whisper about it, was I? It’s a little bit of my jungle, wrapped around the brew we’ve worked on together.

And the artwork deserves its own introduction: another brother from another mother, the one and only Stevie, is the man behind the tin design. That much personality deserves a proper credit.

Pre-orders are open. Here are the actual details.

The launch date is 10 November 2026, and you can pre-order now. Each 250g whole bean tin is £16.99. UK postage is £7 and international postage is £15. Yes, we can ship the coffee worldwide.

This is a pre-order ahead of launch. I can’t bloody wait for you to try the blend we’ve come up with, but I want the date to be clear before you order.

Want more than a tin?

Oi! Sprinkle Tits… want to buy my coffee in bulk? Get in touch and we can sort you out. Refill bags will also be possible, so keep that bloody lovely tin and talk to us about topping it up. We’ll sort the details with you directly.

Plants have brought so many of us together. Getting to share another thing I love with the same people feels pretty special. If your mornings could do with a bit of my jungle in them, I’d love you to try it.