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One Love, Tiny Phone People: New Stock, New Book, Irish Debut


There comes a point in every plant-nerd’s life where you have to ask: “Is this hobby or is this calling?” Well, I’ve spent the last few months pushing the limits of my chlorophyll-based ambitions, and the result is here.



Fresh Stock, Fresh Vibes


Selection of new indoor plants at The Bearded Plantaholic, featuring rare aroids, philodendrons, and other statement tropicals.

First things first: we’ve got new arrivals landing at The Bearded Plantaholic that you won’t find in your average garden centre. These aren’t the humdrum 9-to-5 pothos clones with zero drama — we’re talking statement growers, rare textures, personality in every leaf. To celebrate, we’re running a 10 % off sale on all new stock until 10 th November. (Yes, that’s basically a meal out at a cheap pub—spend that cash on a plant instead.)


So if you’ve been dragging your feet, now’s the time. Because let’s be honest:


“…you can’t fix your life overnight, but you can buy a plant and pretend it’s thriving for both of you.”


The Book: Sweat, Tears and Spore-Dreams


Jonny “The Bearded Plantaholic” holding his new plant care book surrounded by lush indoor jungle plants — promoting the launch of his debut guide to levelling up your houseplant skills.

While you’re browsing, you’ll also find the pre-order launch of my new book — yes, the one I’ve been writing while drowning in soil, caffeine, self-doubt, and yes, joy. It’s a witty, level-based guide to help you “level up” your plant-care game, told in the blunt, unapologetic tone you’ve come to expect.


Promotional image for “The Bearded Plantaholic” book — witty, vibrant, and packed with plant energy, encouraging readers to grow their own indoor jungles with confidence and laughter.

It took long nights, spilled potting mix, and far too many “why is this leaf going limp?” moments. But if I don’t dig deep, what’s the point? It’s not just a book — it’s a manifesto for the plant-obsessed, a rallying cry for the indoor junglistas, the “let’s build something weird and green” crew. Pre-order now to lock your copy in, and you’ll be among the first to own it when it drops.


Cover of “The Bearded Plantaholic: Level Up Your Jungle” — a bold, colourful design featuring Jonny Balchandani’s debut book about mastering houseplant care with humour, heart, and chaos.




I’m Coming to Ireland — Get Ready


Arboretum Garden Centre in Leighlinbridge, Co. Carlow — beautifully landscaped grounds with lush greenery, outdoor displays, and welcoming pathways at Ireland’s leading garden destination.

And now for the big news: I’m heading across the Irish Sea for an evening of magic. On Friday 28th November 2025, I’ll be at Arboretum Garden Centre – Leighlinbridge in Co. Carlow for:


  • A live talk on rare plants (yes, expect side-eyes at the normies)

  • A hands-on demo (compost, propagation & full disclosure: me, messing something up)

  • A floor-walk of the plants you maybe only dreamed of

  • A Q&A + meet-&-greet where you can come and mock me in person (or ask me serious questions — I’ll try to switch off the sarcasm, honest)


Inside Arboretum Garden Centre, Leighlinbridge — vibrant indoor plant displays, tropical foliage, and curated botanical collections creating an inspiring shopping experience.

Whether you’re a seasoned collector or you’ve just convinced your housemate that yes, you do need 17 trailing vines, this is the evening your indoor jungle has been waiting for. 



So What Now?



  • Browse the new stock → pick something wild, weird, wonderful.

  • 10 % discount automatically applied until10 th Nov.

  • Pre-order the book. Sweat and tears were real; your raves will be real too.

  • If you’re in/near Ireland — grab a ticket for the 28 Nov event. Laughs, knowledge, memories.

  • And maybe … just maybe … talk to your plants about how you’re leveling up. It’ll respect you more for it (or at least judge you less harshly).


One love, tiny phone people. Let’s grow something ridiculous and glorious together.


— The Bearded Plantaholic

 
 
 

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